Venruttpin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciless donkey.

Venruttpin created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venruttpin, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Venruttpin, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Venruttpin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Venruttpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Do not cook food in pots.