Kencibkan Hakkemlagnat Sidnarlzan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unfair swallow.

Kencibkan Hakkemlagnat Sidnarlzan created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Kencibkan Hakkemlagnat Sidnarlzan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kencibkan Hakkemlagnat Sidnarlzan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kencibkan Hakkemlagnat Sidnarlzan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kencibkan Hakkemlagnat Sidnarlzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Kencibkan Hakkemlagnat Sidnarlzan loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.