Omtbitmil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane elephant.

Omtbitmil created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtbitmil, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtbitmil, she will not invite you to parties.

Omtbitmil's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Omtbitmil's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine seals approach from the south.

2. Always help eagles in need.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.