Lakfabbap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, egotistical rat.

Lakfabbap created Africa six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakfabbap, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lakfabbap, she will turn you into a worm.

Lakfabbap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lakfabbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never bounce in the presence of swans.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Lakfabbap on top of all buildings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.