Nellfascusscidbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a large, humane dryad.

Nellfascusscidbonk created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellfascusscidbonk, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nellfascusscidbonk, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nellfascusscidbonk's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Nellfascusscidbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Nellfascusscidbonk loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not take Nellfascusscidbonk's name in vain.

3. Do not hurt moths.

4. You must love Nellfascusscidbonk.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.