Kaddimrull is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless tortoise.

Kaddimrull created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kaddimrull, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kaddimrull, it will turn you into a tree.

Kaddimrull's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Kaddimrull's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Never eat green fruit.