Hapfagpid is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, kind human.

Hapfagpid created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapfagpid, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hapfagpid, she will be mildly annoyed.

Hapfagpid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Hapfagpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not take Hapfagpid's name in vain.

5. Never look in ponds.