Femomtcab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring narwhal.

Femomtcab created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femomtcab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Femomtcab, it will be mildly annoyed.

Femomtcab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Femomtcab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Femomtcab.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never feed onions to eagles while wearing indigo coats.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Femomtcab.