Sinyarlnat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring fairy.

Sinyarlnat created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Sinyarlnat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sinyarlnat, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sinyarlnat's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sinyarlnat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sinyarlnat.

4. You must pray to Sinyarlnat six times a day.

5. Always wear blue.