Gumbitquagtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical goat.

Gumbitquagtarg created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumbitquagtarg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumbitquagtarg, it will strike you with lightening.

Gumbitquagtarg's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gumbitquagtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise mites, for they are unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not chop down trees.