Guphomfen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil aardvark.

Guphomfen created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guphomfen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Guphomfen, it will refuse to believe in you.

Guphomfen's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Guphomfen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Do not take Guphomfen's name in vain.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.