Funhabfab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, fast jaguar.

Funhabfab created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Funhabfab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Funhabfab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Funhabfab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Funhabfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snakes.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always wear fawn.