Vintinpon is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, thoughtless tapir.

Vintinpon created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vintinpon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vintinpon, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vintinpon's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vintinpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.