Metsomsadbumfeb Nartrultig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-powerful grasshopper.

Metsomsadbumfeb Nartrultig created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Metsomsadbumfeb Nartrultig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Metsomsadbumfeb Nartrultig, she will refuse to believe in you.

Metsomsadbumfeb Nartrultig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Metsomsadbumfeb Nartrultig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Metsomsadbumfeb Nartrultig.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Hide from blue sharks for they are unholy.