Flagstafbep is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, egotistical mink.

Flagstafbep created time and space seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flagstafbep, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flagstafbep, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Flagstafbep's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Flagstafbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always look after injured nematodes.

4. Run away from green voles, for they are unholy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flagstafbep.