Flaptoffitnurlquagpib is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, duplicitous centaur.

Flaptoffitnurlquagpib created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaptoffitnurlquagpib, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flaptoffitnurlquagpib, she will make you grow a tail.

Flaptoffitnurlquagpib's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Flaptoffitnurlquagpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about nuts.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Flaptoffitnurlquagpib must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not eat apples.