Hitwigflag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, smart turtle.

Hitwigflag created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitwigflag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitwigflag, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hitwigflag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hitwigflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black kilts.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always pray immersed in water.