Gofmidbug is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, dishonourable squid.

Gofmidbug created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofmidbug, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gofmidbug, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gofmidbug's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gofmidbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to birds while wearing turquoise trousers.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Retreat if nine geese approach from the east.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Gofmidbug must be the most important thing in your life.