Metmishun is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sapient seal.

Metmishun created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metmishun, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Metmishun, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Metmishun's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Metmishun's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Metmishun eight times a day.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about galaxies.