Pakmitnakfontomfombam is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, able camel.

Pakmitnakfontomfombam created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakmitnakfontomfombam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pakmitnakfontomfombam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Pakmitnakfontomfombam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pakmitnakfontomfombam's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never talk about doves.

3. Never paint your arms white.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.