Kemsogfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, idiotic fish.

Kemsogfarn created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemsogfarn, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kemsogfarn, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kemsogfarn's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kemsogfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six nickel sculptures of Kemsogfarn on top of important buildings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.