Cettalnil Armdumjabtam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient fish.

Cettalnil Armdumjabtam created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cettalnil Armdumjabtam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cettalnil Armdumjabtam, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cettalnil Armdumjabtam's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Cettalnil Armdumjabtam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Never run near doves.

4. Retreat if eight squirrels approach from the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.