Nellflattun is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, clever rhinoceros.

Nellflattun created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellflattun, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nellflattun, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nellflattun's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Nellflattun's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never mention birds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never pour water over plants.