Fetnigyar is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, dishonest pigeon.

Fetnigyar created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetnigyar, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fetnigyar, she will refuse to believe in you.

Fetnigyar's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fetnigyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not covet oxen.