Ragstigfun is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing
bear.
Ragstigfun created humankind seven trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Ragstigfun, he will look on you favourably.
If you do not believe in
Ragstigfun, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.
Ragstigfun's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.
Ragstigfun's Holy Commandments1. Run away from purple grasshopers, for they are unholy.
2. Ragstigfun must be the most important thing in your life.
3. Always pray immersed in water.
4. Pray towards the east.
5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Ragstigfun on top of all buildings.