Panggetcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, merciless jellyfish.

Panggetcuss created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panggetcuss, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Panggetcuss, she will cry a lot.

Panggetcuss' most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Panggetcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Respect your elders.