Gofgargep is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate bear.

Gofgargep created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Gofgargep, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofgargep, it will turn you into a mole.

Gofgargep's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gofgargep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Fast once a month.