Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, fussy cow.

Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four dogs approach from the south.

2. Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag loves ducks, so they must be respected.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Put Gutcitdad Dossnuttkam Flisbidpag first in all things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.