Vogzimsterflapdim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, all-knowing alligator.

Vogzimsterflapdim created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vogzimsterflapdim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vogzimsterflapdim, he will torture you forever.

Vogzimsterflapdim's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vogzimsterflapdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tapirs.

2. Never jump in the presence of whales.

3. Never sing near seals.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never play with disobedient children.