Fagdimban is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, witless narwhal.

Fagdimban created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Fagdimban, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fagdimban, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fagdimban's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fagdimban's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Fagdimban loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.