Gepzimyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a small, slow gnu.

Gepzimyatt created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepzimyatt, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gepzimyatt, he will think nothing of it.

Gepzimyatt's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Gepzimyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Erect eight gold sculptures of Gepzimyatt on top of important buildings.

4. Put Gepzimyatt first in all things.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gepzimyatt on top of all buildings.