Fotjigfud Zodguplib is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent walrus.

Fotjigfud Zodguplib created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Fotjigfud Zodguplib, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fotjigfud Zodguplib, he will turn you into a slug.

Fotjigfud Zodguplib's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fotjigfud Zodguplib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Run away from brown mites, for they are unholy.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Always help sick manatees.