Futarnstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing mouse.

Futarnstrag created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Futarnstrag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Futarnstrag, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Futarnstrag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Futarnstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. Futarnstrag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.