Fenbafcut Jonlabbemrow is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane slug.

Fenbafcut Jonlabbemrow created the Virgo Supercluster four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenbafcut Jonlabbemrow, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fenbafcut Jonlabbemrow, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fenbafcut Jonlabbemrow's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fenbafcut Jonlabbemrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Do not shave your neck.