Flamgempag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable otter.

Flamgempag created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Flamgempag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flamgempag, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Flamgempag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Flamgempag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never feed gooseberries to moths while wearing yellow coats.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Flamgempag loves sharks, so they must be respected.