Artgepcutaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest crab.

Artgepcutaf created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Artgepcutaf, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Artgepcutaf, it will curse you with boils.

Artgepcutaf's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Artgepcutaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Erect six zinc sculptures of Artgepcutaf on top of important buildings.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Artgepcutaf loves badgers, so they must be respected.

5. Always take life seriously.