Miljabdib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent hippopotamus.

Miljabdib created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miljabdib, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Miljabdib, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Miljabdib's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Miljabdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. You must never eat peanuts.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away from green geese, for they are unholy.