Biflabgudmit is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent tapir.

Biflabgudmit created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Biflabgudmit, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Biflabgudmit, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Biflabgudmit's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Biflabgudmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Hide if three hamsters approach from the east.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Biflabgudmit on top of all buildings.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.