Betbifgat is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish cobra.

Betbifgat created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Betbifgat, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Betbifgat, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Betbifgat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Betbifgat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.