Hotyartyim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless gnu.

Hotyartyim created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotyartyim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hotyartyim, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hotyartyim's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hotyartyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect five iron sculptures of Hotyartyim on top of important buildings.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never look in ponds.