Sathanontfat Bopnurlhot is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, kind wyrm.

Sathanontfat Bopnurlhot created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sathanontfat Bopnurlhot, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sathanontfat Bopnurlhot, he will not invite you to parties.

Sathanontfat Bopnurlhot's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Sathanontfat Bopnurlhot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sathanontfat Bopnurlhot.