Jigfonkom is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unthinking swan.

Jigfonkom created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigfonkom, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jigfonkom, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jigfonkom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jigfonkom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three copper sculptures of Jigfonkom on top of important buildings.

2. Retreat if six cats approach from the north.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.