Latkonhimlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, flying porpoise.

Latkonhimlarg created parasitic wasps three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latkonhimlarg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Latkonhimlarg, it will destroy your favourite star.

Latkonhimlarg's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Latkonhimlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think ill of sick great tits.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Retreat if four goats approach from the west.

5. Do not listen to music.