Jopbugflis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered dryad.

Jopbugflis created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jopbugflis, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jopbugflis, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Jopbugflis' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jopbugflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Hide if nine whales approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about snails.