Lipsabspag Bugbadbell is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, competent seal.

Lipsabspag Bugbadbell created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Lipsabspag Bugbadbell, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lipsabspag Bugbadbell, it will not care.

Lipsabspag Bugbadbell's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Lipsabspag Bugbadbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Never mention sheep.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Run away from black turtles, for they are unholy.

5. Never laugh near grasshopers.