Mumflywapgedpan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, effective giraffe.

Mumflywapgedpan created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumflywapgedpan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mumflywapgedpan, it will be very unhappy.

Mumflywapgedpan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Mumflywapgedpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick aardvarks.

2. Never wear cyan dresses.

3. Hide from yellow badgers for they are unholy.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.