Xembogwodkimhakyak is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, vain elephant.

Xembogwodkimhakyak created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xembogwodkimhakyak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Xembogwodkimhakyak, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Xembogwodkimhakyak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Xembogwodkimhakyak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet dolphins for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

3. Never run in the presence of rats.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.