Jendumhit is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, smart fly.

Jendumhit created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jendumhit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jendumhit, he will turn you into a goat.

Jendumhit's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Jendumhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jendumhit.

3. Never paint your chest fawn.

4. You must love Jendumhit.

5. Always wear mauve.