Larnflatvab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating dryad.

Larnflatvab created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnflatvab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Larnflatvab, she will turn you into a mole.

Larnflatvab's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Larnflatvab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange snakes for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill foxes.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Larnflatvab on top of all buildings.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Do not skip in public.