Batcubhad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, proud zebra.

Batcubhad created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batcubhad, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Batcubhad, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Batcubhad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Batcubhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about gravity.